Julia's Journal August 2009 Archives

Moon in Sadge on Norfolk

Last night it rained on our island paradise. This morning the air is clear and fresh. The sky reveals a pallet awash with optimism anew.

Norfolk is aligned with Byron Bay (NSW) geographically. And it seems to be aligned spiritually also. The natural vistas are maintained by inhabitants’ that desire longevity wrapped in peace and harmony. This is a refreshing enclave and astounding in this modern era.

The economy of the island relies on tourism and yet the numbers of tourists are restricted. Of course there are few natural resources offered in trade but they too are carefully calculated and nurtured.

The quaint atmosphere has sustained a reputation for the geriatric visitor and that begs the question: Must we be older and wiser to enjoy the magnificence of historical evolution? Or do we become more captivated by our roots as we prepare to lie beside our ancestors in the ground?

I was warned prior to my departure from the mainland that Norfolk is for old people. After this visit I would debate that statement with vigour.

I reckon that Norfolk Island is for people who respect themselves enough to take time to nurture their spirit and who wish to reconnect with nature and honour their historical roots.

Perhaps we should take time to consider the lives of others who were forced into unspeakable circumstances and yet devoted themselves to carve out stately Georgian mansions for gentry to dwell. How can a man/woman serve another in shackles and still create the brilliance of architectural structures that stand the test of time – and more importantly, erosion.

If it is our older and wiser members of the tribe who fly over hear to soak up the ambience of paradise then I suppose the warning is appropriate.

The glow of philosophical strands from the Sadge moon envelope me in wisdom and reflection. I am whisked away on the energy of a number three day (intellect and short journeys) and consider my environment from a different perspective.

This is our second last day at our historical cottage retreat, Cobby’s Gen and I am aglow with a sated spirit and a peaceful soul. What price can you put on that? How much does hospitality cost? What is the going rate for the touches of elegance that make you feel like an Island Goddess? You will be amazed at the reasonable investment for the superb quality and benefit you’ll receive during your stay on Norfolk Island.

In the busy humdrum of our daily lives few miracles have an opportunity to manifest. For me, Norfolk Island has crept into my soul and has waved a wand of magic – priceless!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Messages from Norfolk

For years I’ve scribed my thoughts, emotions and ideas in my journal. The odyssey has taken a myriad of twists and turns each stretch and quake depicted in the style, tone and maturity (or lack thereof) of notions documented in countless paper tablets.

I’ve always written with integrity – divulged hidden crevices with the authenticity of my heart. My writing implements have remained sacred, pure and totally in my command. For example, my on-line journal has been published on the premise of self-promotion for my eBooks. I confess that the publications offer insight into the real woman behind the digital texts on offer at www.jestacom.biz

While the journals are explicit and laced with a layer of ego they represent the ebb and flow of my emotional realm constantly under scrutiny of a curious and fickle intellect - the most pervasive aspects being; grammar, metaphor and ultimately – expression.

Over the past five days I’ve holidayed on Norfolk Island. The vacation has been a perfect blend of exploration, research, friendly encounters and most of all – healing outcrops of rest.

Norfolk Island emerged from the outpouring of two active volcanoes. Large pines (Norfolk pines) offer uniqueness to this subtropical land mass. Descendants of Indigenous Polynesians coupled with mutineers (from the Bounty) and ancestral ties to colonies past celebrate a colourful cultural hue, giving the island a society graced in good manners and a rare warmth and open-ness.

Daily excursions around the isle revealed a foreboding coastline. Azure blue lagoons have lured many a ship’s captain into a watery disappointment.

Norfolk Islanders are proud of their history – they celebrate the English settlements with respectful sentiment and an unwavering spirit. I can sense the pride in their voices as they recall the history and parables of oppression. Clearly the cycle of life is transparent as you observe the interactions between death and rebirth.

Deep ravines and grassy knolls atop plunging outcrops of basalt hang precariously over rocky gorges plummeting into the sea. Two small land masses in close proximity to the island have been named: Phillip and Nepean Island. These desolate islands are uninhabited except for a sanctuary for birds.

This retreat has offered time well spent being re-acquainted with my inner muse. This timeout reminds me of how long we’ve been apart. Nostalgia washes over me as I realise it has been days since our last intimate conversation. I’ve been absent in thought and word with my journal which feels almost like a “lapsed Catholic” avoiding the confessional.

This week the apprehension of our authentic conversations has passed. This retreat has given me the opportunity to reinvigorate my creative verve – time to breathe, to walk alone in green meadows alongside herds of contented cattle; paddling in crystal blue water and stomping golden sands trudged by unfortunate souls long passed. These moments have nurtured my spirit gently encouraging the whisper of my soul’s winsome narrative.

I’ve experienced many blessings during this past week. I’ve enjoyed an historical depiction of the birth of this tiny island. The Trial of the Fifteen was fantastic. This clever and creative account was acted in a professional manner by actors who took on the energy of each character with integrity and a flamboyant demeanour. The actors were fascinating and most of generous.

That generosity imbues this land cradling in pride and independence. Our Norfolk holiday has been a memorable interlude in the scrap book of vacations past. I know that Norfolk is not listed on the tem most exciting adventures around the globe. Although, what Norfolk lacks in excitement it more than compensates in a healing ardour. It is no wonder Colleen McCullough finds the solace and creative respite to communicate with her inner muse.

Now that the holiday is over the memories flash across my face in a wry smile. I am grateful for this retreat – for the gifts of their smiles and kind words that fall so effortlessly from the Norfolk Islanders mouths. While the hospitality is compelling the greatest gift I take with me from this tiny Island is the return to me!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

I miss you Dad

The week of illness is passing the infection put to rest. The devouring demon excommunicated and I’m feeling rather blessed. It’s been a week of struggle of incapacity and strain. The debilitating intruder has forced me to review the source of my pain.

The wind chimes burst a congratulatory tune – I’ve survived and not too soon. My mind searches beyond the puking pail as I begin sifting through the grain. Each whisper flicker and nudge has impacted on my brain.

My tantrums unheard; my tears have dried I’ve been a solitary survivor of the purge of emotional baggage. I’ve been forced to face the loneliness of a life without you.

It’s been a week since the chaos crept in uninvited. I’ve felt lost and comatose and gasping in the fog. It’s a new day and the sky is clear and the mountains defined a perfect backdrop illicit a different perspective.

My eyes fixed on an eagle circling beyond the ridge and I am reminded that he is my father’s totem. Is it a message that you have left us again? Are you off to journey toward your personal truth? Must we go on with out you while you transform your soul for you?

I miss you Dad.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

My intent is clear

“If you do not change direction you’ll end up wherever you’re heading.” Lao Tzu

The Sun shines brightly through my window on this cold and frosty morning. It is a day of reflection and I have the opportunity to do just that. The Moon is in practical Taurus and she is heading toward another eclipse. The Sun is in Cancer and we are making home the perfect retreat.

This may be my final entry in this journal book. That doesn’t mean of course, that the words won’t come and the pen refuse to follow. It just means another book is waiting to fill with thoughts, words, ideas, goals, wishes and dreams and yes of course those naughty tantrums too.

My faithful companion, Jazz lies near my bed. She is devoted to me and doesn’t waiver on her commitment. Perhaps I place her devotion as a benchmark for friends and family to aspire. Maybe this standard of loyalty is too high and that is why I become disappointed when close relations don’t measure up.

I’m not saying that I expect my friends and family to be at my beck and call or to lie serenely at my feet and look up in wonder when I call. I suppose qualities such as loyalty and trustworthy are the elements that stand the test of time.

Over the past two years I’ve had a visit from Father Chronos – Saturn in my friendship and association sector. During this time I’ve experienced frustration and in some cases betrayal of friends and close allegiances. I’ve learned (the hard way) that some people can’t be trusted and the others who are golden and loyal will always be true friends for my entire life.

The lessons learned have been magnificent – I’m very proud to say. I’ve come through this transit with a maturity and deeper understanding of what a true friend conveys. These golden few are precious to me like diamonds in the snow. Those chosen few are closer to me than words can ever say.

The Cancerian Sun phase is about home and family. There has been a deeper connection also. A strong bond with my mother, brother and sister has been formed. We are supportive of one another as we grieve the loss of our patriarch, father, friend and mate. His legacy has taught us to stand up and fight for what we think is right. Also, his act of personal demonstration throughout his life was not to let the bastards beat him and get off your butt there is a big world out there. His force is strong in our lives – like the glue that holds us together – an indestructible bond that stretches and contracts and protects us from the world and the entire nay Sayers and bullies.

We’ve developed a circle of friendship which is deepening and strengthening in every way. Our relationships are more evolved and enduring and we have begun to really like each other along the way.

The morning spread reveals the impetus for the day. The Empress poised and serene preparing for the birth of something wonderful. The sickness and pain is fading as I feel motivated to greet the day. Over the past few weeks I’ve been unwell – dragging myself through the daily obligations – now I feel a ray of sunshine beam into my frozen landscape.

The Hermit augurs a work and health evaluation. Am I on the right path? How do my career aspirations reflect in my health? Am I healthy or am I just holding it together with a flimsy string of loyalty glue and gripping with the fear of change? Tread carefully through the minefield of your fears, dear and be cautious about decision that will influence you for years. Take time to process ingesting the right formula expending the right amount of energy.

Death is a welcomed entrant in that he brings an ending of the past – poor choices, attitudes and behaviours are smashed into tiny pieces – obliterated into specks of dust. Allow the past to pass through the bowels of the discontented. It’s a new day, time to embrace a fresh start – forgotten about yesterday.

So what does it all mean? The old and new concepts are grand representations of the cycle of life. Time is of the essence to rest and contemplate a while. Time is all that matters as we take stock of our pile.

The dreamy aspects of a number seven day are perfect to reflect and consider the next phase. The eve of the New Moon eclipse is ripe for preparing and organising our thoughts, goals and wishes. What do we want for ourselves? Where do we want to go? Don’t be limited by our thoughts and fears – just release the burdens of yester-year.

The pragmatic Taurean moon grounds me in reality. It is important to take considered steps along the path to success and not race off ahead – before the die is cast. Keep your feet on the ground and your mind in the sky perched up in the eagles nest a perfect vantage to see the new horizon, don’t you think?

In the quietness of my room I contemplate my next step; careful thoughts and words exacting instructions to the navigator in my soul. The feast requires specificity when you’re ordering from the banquet of life. Ensure you have plenty of tasty morsels to satisfy your inner hedonist – insist on a main that is substantial but don’t forget about the side dishes, garnishes and dressings too.

We all want the best life – but what does it look like? How does it feel, smell, taste and would we know it if it was real? Be careful what you ask for – I’ve learned that time and time again. Now, I want to get it right and no more missing the menu or the magnificent cherry pie.

My intent is clear: when my intent is clear, my desires are fulfilled.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Coat of many colours

One realisation that has hit me this visit to Sydney is that we are all getting older. Not only that, I’ve had an epiphany that we all carry our values and beliefs in our demeanour like a coat of many colours.

Our lives are staged out in the playground of our aura and our subconscious mind is the reality shack of our fears.

The potency of what we think, feel and say is the ink in our fountain pens that scribe the script of our lives. The scrolls of our lives then become embossed with the seals of our experience. Sign here and press hard are the secret deals we’ve entered into and free-will is enmeshed in duty and responsibility. The conflict and uprising of another merges unceremoniously with our flotsam and jetsam – living our truth is an altered reality somewhere in the black hole of our disappointments.

It would be so much easier to have all the answers – to visit the Akashic records and fill our library card with the “must haves and the need to know” text books. Sitting in the corner of the chapel window fingering each chapter and ticking with our red pen the accomplishments and lessons learned.

Life would be much simpler and lesson painful don’t you think if we had a stunt double to take the crashes and broken bones? Conversely, how would we know if we’ve matriculated; if we were left in the corner of despondency and nowhere to go?

This life is a testament to resilience, determination and courage especially throughout this eclipse season. So just go with the flow and move beyond the need to know. Experience the jolt and crashes and be confident that you will end up in the perfect classroom for your next phase.

Peace and Love (and lots of band aids)

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Welcome earthlings…

The Universe is demanding that you step up and have the courage of your convictions today – have the fortitude to say what you need to say – or keep dribbling down your chin of regret.

The Hierophant or the wise old Pope is cautious and yet commanding – take it easy little one don’t get pushed around.

Justice reminds me that I must seize the day! The opportunity to run the gauntlet and say my piece - take advantage of the clarity of the current window – make haste – don’t delay another minute.

Mercury radiates a brilliant freshness today. There has been confusion or fairy floss inhabiting our minds of late. Intricate twisted fibres contorting our synapses have held us in custody within the deep recesses of blistering bewilderment. Today Mercury gives us a break and we can quarry forward – three cheers for Mercury – God of the Intellect!!!

Of course, all of this Mercury chatter makes me think about how much influence this planet has on our thinking processes. Fundamentally speaking our thoughts control our actions and so on… So, if our mind is confused and our thoughts are a blend of mush, bubble and squeak how does that impact on our behaviour? I great deal I would imagine?

I believe that we are electromagnetic beings – compiled of millions of tiny cells all pulsating in a particular direction. What direction – you may ask? Well the captain of the Mother Ship (our bodies) is the brain. And if the brain is reduced to something like a slinky on a hot day then oh my goodness we are lost in space.

So, today, the Mother shop should take off toward a new galaxy – a play of crystal clear consciousness. I only hope our destination it is a friendly planet. As we disembark the ship we should anticipate a warm welcome. Well, shouldn’t we?

Wherever you go in this vast wilderness – go in Peace Earthling. There is an incredible frontier just waiting for you!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers