Julia's Journal December 2009 Archives

Powerful remedy

The Divine Consciousness that I am is forever expressing its true nature of Abundance. My only responsibility is to be aware of this Truth. Therefore I am totally confident in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all-sufficiency in my life and affairs.

Justice portends contracts. It’s time to finalise arrangements. We have a buyer for the house in Coffs – not let’s sign and get the deal done. The buyer has been supported by the vibe of the GFC and negotiated the deal down to the bones. My only focus is that the deal is done.

The Chariot hurtles me away from disappointment and the black hole of regret. Jump on board and you won’t remain stuck in the mock of another’s bad hair day. Time and time waits for no-one – its time to move on – catch the tide to a new location.

The Hermit is cautious and wise – ready to plod a familiar course. The daily rituals of my life have become a saving grace. I am diligent and resourceful – there is work to be done.

The Lovers are poised and perfect – captivated in each other’s presence. You’ve been living an illusion of discontent – its not necessary as you have so many brilliant tomorrows.

It’s a number nine day ideal for empowerment and resolution – a perfect interlude for letting god without regret and face the day of a new tomorrow.

The Moon in Pisces holds a Neptunian appeal. Love and mystery beckons. Intuition is finely tuned to the cosmos and the wise healer faces the future with zeal and does not regret a single word or action.

The labours are nearly done and its time to give birth to new conditions. The promise of a painless tomorrow holds a huge appeal. Let’s just make it through the final days of this year and start afresh in 2010.

May your heart sing and your soul rejoice? Experience the wonder of life. Celebrate all that is good and blessed about your life, realising that gratitude is a powerful remedy. Appreciating your blessings increases the vitality of your life force.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Forgiveness

My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my needs and desires, and as the Principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any needs or unfulfilled desires.

Forgiveness is such a powerful act. It has been said that forgiveness will take you from being disempowered to empowerment. Once you forgive someone then they do not have a hold over you. This week I am working on forgiveness and in this simple (and yet extremely difficult act I will break free from the chains of oppression). Not only that it’s Christmas, isn’t it? Plus, the cosmos is supportive of this action.

Is it an action – yes it is! First you have to be aware that there is something to forgive. In the meantime you go through your roller coaster rides of this can’t be happening and then you realise, yes it is happening. Then you go, ouch that really hurts – you big bully. Then you go, oh poor you, why do you fear me so much? Your insecurity is a dark veil to your loveliness. Pettiness is poison and you have layered it into your aura.

Thank you for the insight into your soul. I forgive you. Now you can begin to heal as I choose to heal. Easy isn’t it? Nope! No one said it was going to be easy that is why people choose to stay stuck. But not me, I choose freedom, liberation and personal empowerment. My gift to myself is the awareness that I deserve better and the truth that comes from living the best life I possibly can. I owe it to myself. I honestly do. And you do too!

The Wheel of Fortune inspires a new phase of philosophical pursuits. Take the higher ground as it will be flooded with negativity and emotion down below. Don’t enter the game – just smile and say, thanks for sharing!

The Chariot will take you places you’ve only dreamed about. Life is too short to seek approval from those who don’t matter.

Prometheus hangs on the tree of life – he was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice – well good on him. I’m not! I don’t have a second to waste – ou can open the cage and fly away little blue bird – fly.

The World says the lessons are done you’ve learned them well this time – they won’t return again in this life time. There is not time to waste – just time to heal – turn toward forgiveness and the healing time will begin.

Forgiveness means more to God than sacrifice. Forgive on person today. Open your heart to that person, and release unnecessary suffering from the past. Feel the peace that follows from this simple act.

So Be It!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

You’ve got to have friends!

Money is not my supply. No person, place or condition is my supply. My awareness, understanding and knowledge of the all-providing activity of the Divine Mind within me is my supply. My consciousness of this Truth is unlimited; therefore, my supply is unlimited.

The gentle tinkles of my wind chimes remind me of the subtleness of the movement of time. Time heals they say. I agree wholeheartedly. However, it is up to us to make tiny subtle changes to facilitate that healing process. If we change on tiny aspect of our thinking/behaviour then the ripple effect will take place and before you know it you’ve landed in a new dimension.

The Moon is the friendship house of Aquarius. Aquarius rules the 11th house of friends and associations. This is an airy sign which is a relief after the earthy and pragmatic sing of Capricorn. Aquarius reminds us about the importance of friends.

Last night I was delighted by the joyous energy of my friends. We talked, laughed and shared so many stories of distasteful situations and imbued them with new and colourful perspectives. The spectrum of our conversations peppered the evening with a brilliant lustre that has sustained until the morning light.

My friends offered wisdom, support, unconditional loving, and respect; most importantly they were wonderful. Thank you, my dear and beautiful friends you make my world a more sunny and sparkly place. I love and honour you so much!

Other than the brilliant company of my friends my husband demonstrated his love and affect by surpassing any master chef with his command of his culinary skills. He was unreal. We ate our meal in perfect time and with glitz and glamour of a high class restaurant. Oh what a night!

Today is a little garden time, coffee date with my main man but first appointment in my diary is a massage. A deep healing and lovely massage; lLife is beautiful – isn’t it? Enjoy your day – your way!

And remember, God gives you only the present, moment by moment. How much of your present day do you invest in the past? Everything from your pas except wisdom and love has long since served its purpose. Witness what calls to you from yesterday and why.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Rainbow Idealism

There is on mind, Divine Mind, in which we all live, move and have our being. I remember there is no them and us. There is only us. I live each day in peace – peace of mind, peace in heart, peace in action.

The High Priestess ushers me from the darkness of my emotional prison. She knows the score – been there before. The Emperor commands – take you power back, child – don’t give them an inch and don’t buy into their wicked ways. Treachery lingers in the hearts of the pettiness – rise above and don’t respond in kind. The Sun is seductive and alluring. Not only does it force its way through the dark clouds of loneliness, scattering them to the four winds, its rays of optimism remind me that a new day is as evocative as a new way of living.

Today is a number seven day. These are the days for inner reflection and question time at the stadium of the soul. It is not necessarily the BIG issues of life but more like a reality check of how am I doing? Am I on track? Do I meet my standards? Am I holding true to the values and beliefs I started out with?

I believe that we start out pure – coated in honest intention and coloured with rainbow idealism. Most of are “good people” then we are flung into the world. You have to make your way through the rocky outcrops of reality – hit a few edifices (sometimes) almost drown in emotional whirlpools, flung on to foreign beaches with strangers, you make friends and then you realise that they are not your friends – instead they are treacherous lying cheating thieves who rob you of your self esteem. What then? What must we do?

For me, on a day with this Sun and Mars alignment – coupled with the Libran moon I start out with good intention to resolve those relationships that taunt at my soul and keep me awake at night. We want to be liked, right? We all want to live and work in peace and harmony? And yet we walk away disappointed and disillusioned by another failed attempt of relationship balance. Our expectations are smashed by the reality hammer.

So, what do we do? My strategy is to pick up the pieces of my self esteem and move into another classroom. In that new environment I offer and express my unique talents. I have unique talents that when expressed, serve my own needs, as well as my family and the society I live in.

See you in the rainbow of idealism.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

And still I rise

We focus our attention on the universal mind, heart and soul of all creation. In this state of oneness, we speak to all beings engaged in war, battle, hostility, aggression, all manner of action that causes harm to another: “In the name, love, wisdom and power of the I THAT IA AM, I say, STOP THIS NOW! Turn to your Higher Self and be guided by right thought and right action.”

The Moon and Saturn are in Libra today. This alignment has the potential to cool our emotions or to offer a balance in our relationships. Fair mindedness – a fair and just heart will win Chronos over every time.

It’s a number six day and this energy is perfect for commitment and responsibility. Yesterday was a rough and tumble day of changes and I felt them to the core of my being.

Death is the changer – one painful door slams shut and the Fool opens another. The Emperor counsels the wounded ones; there; there the torment has now passed.

I’ve written pages of “private” notes this morning as the sun kisses my window pane. I cannot publish them to the world instead I’ll offer them to my sacred truth.

This journal is a testament of my life in this earth school. All I can say, is the poem below offers solace to a tormented soul during a sleepless night.

In closing, I confess that I protect my inner life from the opinions of others. I know that in order to create good luck in my life; its often best to keep silent about my innermost dreams and intentions. I simply let my vision unfold naturally.

So Be It.

Peace and Love,
Julia Ashton-Sayers

Still I Rise – Maya Angelou http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/still-i-rise/

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Conscious creations

The collection consciousness of Earth is now raised to higher levels of awareness. The collective mind now deepens its understanding of universal law, and lives accordingly.

If we all lived “mindfully” then what would happen? I mean, if we were conscious of every thought, word, action, intention reaction and every step we take then what would we create?

Yesterday I was mindful of every thought word and especially every mouthful I ate. I was living consciously as I was feeling ill. I wanted to be well, I didn’t want to create more illness in my body so, and I lived consciously.

Toward the end of the day I felt calm and grounded. I was aware of every thought; I was pure (and focused) in my intent. It was a moment of enlightenment.

Buddha maintains that “enlightenment” is the end of suffering”. And that was my intention – to end my suffering. Not only to end my sickness or suffering but to create wellness and a state of being in the now. Mission accomplished.

So, what do I do with that now? I’ve honoured myself with the moment of enlightenment. How do I build on that or even sustain it? It’s a nice feeling; a feeling of enjoying each tiny morsel of food or even tiny speck of thought. I was calm, rested and in the moment.

This “moment” made me think about how the rhythm and pulse of our lives distracts us or keeps us in a state of perpetual chaos. Boy Dylan once remarked that chaos lived right next to him. Is that why people anaesthetise themselves with drugs, alcohol, food and many other addictions/diversions?

The storm of my repulsion has passed. A fresh landscape is cleansed of toxic thoughts and impurities. I conjure the perfect outcome with the assistance of the Magician. The Fool is begging for a new phase of fresh perspectives and experiences. Gaia groans with the labour that will deliver a new era. It’s time to elevate ourselves above the chaos of our lives.

It’s a number five day and a lover appears to grasp and give a good yank – turn the corner and don’t look back. I consciously create my reality with my desires. It is through desire that the unmanifest can manifest. So Be It!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

The transition lounge

Infinite wisdom now governs every thought, word and action of the world’s leaders. They open their minds and hearts to greater understanding, harmony and resolution.

The Moon moves into detailed oriented Virgo today. The Jupiter-Chiron healing alignment encourages an overview of our health and wellbeing. Both cosmic influences are supportive of a little healthy and daily activities review; thus, giving you the opportunity to ask the question, “so how is your health and wellbeing?”

It’s a number four day – a good day for laying the foundations for the future. The structure and building blocks are essential to the solid path that we treat during our daily rituals. The Moon in Virgo supports that theme – it’s time to get organised and clear about the fundamentals of your life.

The World is my oyster. Love, peace and happiness hang low on the vine – ripe for the picking and deliciously savouring our souls. The Wheel of Fortune is a magnificent attraction with the Jupiterian influence and the trusty spin from the great benefactor. It seems the harder I work; the luckier I become. Effort = rewards – that’s for sure.

The Fool ushers a phase of new beginnings - time to start afresh and in a new direction. Clear out the dust that lingers to the old dreams and visions and start the day with a new philosophy – a new way of living in the world.

Yesterday I got really sick. It started with a headache, raw and raging. As the pain reached an intolerable intensity I was physically ill. The purge was uncomfortable and in some ways distressing. Going through that phase was awful – each painful second dragged out for hours. This morning the headache lingers but the toxic swirling in my gut has passed. I feel week but optimistic that the worst is behind me now.

Life is a lot like that illness – the involuntary spasms of toxic overload leave us in a new frontier. Where to from here, Girlie? We must ask the question – we know we can’t go back to the devils playground again.

The Fool encourages me to start again – an optimistic attitude and a new perspective layered with a focused intent.

Right now I feel as if I am sitting in the transit lounge. I surrender to the Divine with one thought pulsating through my mind; I intend to create good luck in my life. When I recognise the power of intent, I can focus it to create the life I want.

So Be It!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Heal those wounds

I now see/visualise/feel this planet as a slowly rotating blue, green orb surrounded by glowing sunlight. I watch as the golden rays’ blaze into every nation of the world. I see the whole planet wrapped in this pulsating golden light.

Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron offers the cosmic elixir to heal our wounds this week. Not before an obsessive to do between Mercury and Pluto. Astrologically it should be a rather “interesting” week – so watch this space.

Even if we have been hurt on a physical, emotional or spiritual plane, healing has the potential to take place.

Yasmin Boland suggests that we can begin to heal by having a focused conversation. Whispers of insight though, make sure it is with someone you trust/respect.

Trust and respect are very important credentials for Scorpions. And if you abuse the trust of a Scorpion they’ll take a long time to forgive and or forget – perhaps even a lifetime. So, sure sit down and have that conversation but make sure the person you share your heart/emotions with is someone who is deemed as worthy.

I adore days like this in the Earth School. There is potential for healing is phenomenal and there is a little obsession swirling around in the mix – perfect! I feel blessed on days like these and love to soak up the cosmic flow.

The Star is the luminous icon in my spread. The Magician creates magic in a blink of an eye. The Emperor is resolute on his search for the truth. Everything is perfect in my life right now.

It’s a number three day – communication, intellectual pursuits, short journeys and siblings are the focus. It’s a time to draw a line in the sand and demand that we’ll not take the carving of our self-esteem – it belongs to us and they can’t have it – no matter how they try.

Bask in the healing power of the Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron coupling and heal those wounds forever. It’s not too late to be liberated from the fiery dungeons of regret and fear. Stand strong in your personal power. With true power from within nothing is beyond your reach.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Living is easy with eyes closed!

As we relax and let go, we feel a great outpouring of peace flooding our minds, and hearts. This great wave of calming peace saturates every fibre of our being and world.

Have you ever woken up and wandered around your home and thought, this day feels especially wonderful? Well, this morning I did.

As I opened up the blinds and walked through the rooms and hallways there was a sense of peace, love and harmony filling every crevice of my home – it felt, wholesome and fresh, loving and brilliant? I was grounded in the knowledge that life is good and I am truly blessed. I am grateful for my life.

Yesterday I was preparing to leave for my morning of pampering and maintenance (aka facial and hairdresser) I stopped and listened to the words of a familiar son on the radio. The words were, “living is easy with eyes closed”. And yes, the song is Strawberry Fields Forever (rest of the lyrics below).

I’ve read that Lennon and McCartney wrote words/lyrics were nonsensical creations and there was in some cases not a lot of meaning behind them. In fact it was the media or public that sought and conveyed their own interpretations from the messages. Apparently, the legendary duo has suggested that if it sounded good then hey you have a song.

I digress, even though the words may not have had intent in the beginning, I thought about the relevance of those words in my life.

Do I live with my eyes closed? I know that I am a curious person. I also am a self confessed inquisitor and a searcher. In that view, do I need to take off the lenses of denial and look at life with eyes wide open? What about you? Are your eyes open? Maybe we can meet in strawberry fields?

It’s an 11/2 day so the day promises to be a public/private affair. I have some journals/columns to publish so that is my priority.

Then, I have my Circle of Manifestation to attend. This Circle is a group of like-minded people who share the belief that we can create our dream life with focused intent. It’s a positive and motivated group of people who are living with eyes wide opened and hears on fire – intent to burn.

Speaking of fore – the Moon is Leo and the Sun in Sagittarius is a potent mix of fire. The creative Leo Moon invests the fifth house intensity into our day. The Moon is not all that comfortable in this sign but at least she is off the coach and the box of chocolates is history.

Chocolate – did someone say chocolate? Last night we went to our friends 49’er birthday party and his wife had made a white chocolate cheesecake. Oh! My Goodness! It was heavenly. Unfortunately, her cheesecake has now officially met legendary status as the word has got around. I don’t mind one slice as it is enough to catapult you into a state of bliss. I’d arrive at the first taste.

It’s a magical Sunday and my three Major Arcana cards support that theme. Judgement – releasing and support from the Angelic realm. Magician – need I say more? And the World is the cherry on top – Venus stands boldly in the garland of plenty – although after the cheesecake from last night it had better be salad and fruit – don’t you think?

I am off to create in my life- it’s my choice. To be free is to know that I can direct my awareness where I want to, when I want to and how I want to!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Lyrics: Strawberry Fields Forever! (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Strawberry-Fields-Forever-lyrics-The-Beatles/D9A941B443BA338B48256BC200142A40 )

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.
That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right.
That is I think it's not too bad.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.
It doesn't matter much to me.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Always know sometimes think it's me, but you know I know and it's a dream.
I think I know of thee, ah yes, but it's all wrong.
That is I think I disagree.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.
Strawberry Fields forever.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Glorious day!

“If there be righteousness in the heart, there will beauty in the character. If there be beauty in the character there will harmony in the home. If there be harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation. If there be order in the nation, there will be peace in the world!” Confucius. So let’s start with this glorious day!

The final chapter of “the Little Book of word Medicine” covers World peace and wellbeing. I will share these affirmations with you until we reach the end of the book. I believe that if we start the day with a positive thought then it is a good foundation for the day. If another person chooses to spread doom and gloom on your path then at least you’ve started out on a good note.

The above quote from Confucius is a good place to start – don’t you think? He asks us to consider what is in our heart first, doesn’t he? And if it is a pure heart that beauty and intention will flow out into the home, national and eventually the world. So Be It!

It’s a 10/1 day – endings and beginnings. The pictures of my subconscious reveal that story too. Temperance invites the philosophical mantra of love, peace and happiness. Whereas Death suggests that something needs to end e.g. negativity in my mind. The Fool flashes in with a fresh approach – don’t delay it’s a new day – of living your truth.

Justice seeks the balance of mind and heart and Athena is no fool. I like that about Athena. I feel that she is a fair-minded leader who does not tolerate selfishness and hidden agendas. Actually, I quite often invite Athena into my life when I have some work place negotiation to undertake. She is truthful and honest. I’ve written a short story about her for a Black Dog competition some months ago. I will publish it over the weekend for you to read.

Its Saturday so there is work to be done. However, I’ve got a facial booked and a visit to my fav. hairdresser (in the whole wide world). This evening hubby and I are off to a friend’s party. He is a fantastic friend who is so loyal and supportive. We’ve been friends for many years and I adore him. Actually he is the husband of one of my best and dearest friends but we socialise together all the time. He is tolerant and kind and I am so blessed to count him as a close friend in my inner sanctum. Happy Birthday Mr. D

The Moon is in Cancer today - a lovely resting place for the Lunar Lady. Cancer is a nurturing and caring sign so it is a good day to feed the need within. These days I prefer to do that with oceans of self love or pampering instead of food. I’ve found myself more balanced in the desire for internal nurturing to satisfy my emotions.

I know that I was completely out of wack a while ago but now I feel more calm and resolute in my desire to satisfy my emotions. Yesterday, I thought I am really quite tired of feasting. I really want a healthy and slender body so now I will only intake the full that is required rather than desire the food that will abuse my body. It is a good place to be – a gentle state of equilibrium.

Today is a magical and glorious day and my outlook is unlimited. When I refuse to limit my outlook to what could happen, I open up to what can happen.

Enjoy your day – I trust that if you too have peace in your heart it will flow out into your world.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

The Warrior Goddess - Living with the Black Dog

Depression is an unwelcome intruder in our lives. It creeps in and settles upon us without invitation or respite. As the fog encroaches on our spirit the arduous days of suppression and pain fill us with despair. Fading into obscurity and abandoning any hope for being “normal” is the only option.

On days like these it is difficult to leave the comfort and safety of my bed. My bed becomes the island of retreat, a place where I can escape. I don’t have to put on an appropriate mask to hide the blackness within. I can be sullen and self effacing and bask in my sea of anonymity. However, the masks are effective as they keep the inquirers from peaking into my deception and prevent me from crumbling into annihilation. But what happens when the masks fall off or don’t fit anymore? Then I must face the world naked and my true self is exposed.

Carl Jung, the famous psychoanalyst, invites us to consider the concept of the collective unconscious where he suggests that our unconscious mirrors significant behavioural patterns. But what if these “behavioural patterns” are destructive or treacherous? What then? How can we defend ourselves against the battle for our sanity?

I am but an unfortunate wench with scars upon my soul too deep and perverse to heal in this millennium. Sadness prevails as I embrace my gloom, wandering aimlessly throughout the caverns of my mind, each one darker and gloomier than the previous. How did I get here? Did I free-fall, or was I pushed? No, I landed here alone one dark and stormy night!

Each morning I struggle to get out of bed and lament my destiny. It is too difficult to rise another day and stretch a fake smile across my mask of broken dreams. I am alone; I am a wretched soul of circumstance. Don’t rescue me for I am not worth your effort. Leave me to lie beside the road; do not lean over to offer a helping hand for I would bite it off in a second.

When the shadow reigns I am vindictive and will taunt you with my blackness. If you take me into your heart I will poison it forever. Take me into your mind and I will infect your thoughts each and every breathless moment. In a heartbeat I will destroy you and every infinitesimal opportunity for happiness. I am you. I am your dark reflection. Look deeper into my pools of lies and I will entice you to the edge of your sanity.

Today we placate these demons with drugs or alcohol. But what if we’re meant to embrace them, to acknowledge them for their existence in our world? How can we defend ourselves when we are lost in victimology? To “feel” would be disastrous and to shield my pain another moment would epitomise the nothingness of my life.

Jung refers to these darker aspects of our personality as the shadow or undeveloped parts which are not meant to have a voice. Conversely, I have chosen to refer to my “shadow” as Athene, Goddess of Justice. Not only does she have a voice but a commanding demeanour delivering an unbeatable doctrine.

Athene is the Warrior Goddess. She stands for Justice. She possesses a brilliant mind and her decisions are based purely on intellectual deliberation. Her empowering energy in my life encourages me to live from the power of my mind rather than the stagnant pool of emotions. On the darkest days she motivates me to get out of bed and walk the beach, stamping away the darkness with each deliberate step. She encourages me to write about my shadow and relish the power of honesty through creativity, to feel comfortable with the words and to embrace the delicate balance of emotional and intellectual well being. She is a stern Goddess, that is true, but the reward is a lantern flickering in the dank fog. Her bounty is the excitement for life and the possibilities therein.

The Warrior Goddess motivates me to dress in the brightest colours and adorn myself with jewels, crystals and fragrances. These secret formulas shield the misery of tortured dreams that haunt me and plague my waking hours. With this archetype I perceive myself as a worthy opponent and am inspired to take up the pen and craft a deft and powerful adversary for my evil reflection. Yes, after the battle I am exhausted but able to reflect upon the experience of the alchemy a time when I must accept my fragility. Other times I celebrate the glory of triumphant battle.

The battle with depression is a precarious and challenging journey. Awareness of our emotionality is an opportunity to make a choice and embrace a holistic life of balance, joy and creativity. When the black dog threatens our contentment we must pick up the sword and defend our right for sobriety and normalness.

BLACK DOG

I sit here all alone and I stroke his shiny coat
He pains me so much more than any words that I have wrote
I take another swig and allow myself some glee
And each horrid disastrous day I lament my destiny

I’ve been lost and yet relished the victimology of my world
Don’t rescue me, I’m not worth the effort, let me grow old
I am an unfortunate wench, my soul too scarred to heal
It’s just another arduous day of suffering I must feel

You know me and you despise me yet you love me all the same
Am I your sister or your brother, or have I your mother’s name
The misery, it haunts your dreams, plagues you’re waking hours
I fade into obscurity; it’s the only option now

Take me into your heart and I will poison it for all time
I’ll infect your breathless thoughts if you let me in your mind
I’ll destroy you in a heartbeat and all chance of happiness
Look deep into my pool of lies, to you I shall confess.

By Julia Ashton-Sayers and T.B Jackson (2006)

Infinite intelligence

I now quiet my thoughts and open my mind to the well of infinite intelligence within me. I breathe slowly and deeply and allow everything I need to know to rise to the surface. I let go of all feelings of urgency, and trust the wisdom at the core of my being. I relax and trust.

The first thought that emerged as I came out of sleep this morning was, “I have a day off!” Then I thought, “Fantastic as I can begin to heal the scars from yesterday’s workplace encounters”. Then I thought, “Why are we constantly seeking a retreat from work?” Why can’t we still work in a comfortable and safe environment where our colleagues respect our individuality and right to freedom of expression? Then I thought, “Hey Bullwinkle that concept never works!” Then I thought, “Why not?”

The hangover from the Full Moon in Gemini was a painful slap of reality. The right to express and opinion or suggestion was dealt with by another metaphoric slap. It now seems when you ask a civil question (which was initially given as an instruction) the gates of hell fly open and the dragon of fear and destruction will scorch your self esteem – perishing your right to exist. I know, it’s a little over the top but I am sure you’ll get the picture.

Death promises and end to all of this malarkey – the cycle must stop and now is as a good as time as any. The Lovers seek the balance between male and female offering positive and delightful communication to the exit strategy. The Sun shines – suggesting that masks that fake true feelings are now slipping – it’s just about done and dusted. The World brings and end to the drought and fresh opportunities are budding on the vine.

It’s a number nine day – empowerment, resolution and conclusion – please! The reactions from yesterday are typical power and control dynamite. Why do you fear me so much – I only want to contribute?

Today the Moon moves over into her comfort zone. Her natal house of Cancer is much cosier. It’s a good day to focus upon the healing of our scars. Seek a cosy retreat and pamper yourself. Well that is high on my agenda. I have a couple of appointments, bills to pay and food shopping – perfect Cancerian tasks – don’t you think? And as I tick these tasks off my list I will do so in mindless bliss.

As for work and the Monday return – I detach from the outcome. After I’ve focused my intention, I detail from the outcome and let Lady Luck do her job! My infinite intelligence within becomes the compass which will lead me to my perfect outcome.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Polar opposites – is that like polar bears?

My path through life is always illumined, even at the darkest times! I am always loved, guided and protected. Help is sent to me in the right form at the right time.

We have now experienced the full for December. Geminis (or strong aspected Geminis) have been in the limelight (like it or not!). So how have you faired?

My Gemini Moon (emotions and socialising) have been rather rational – thank the heavens! Actually, I said to my husband last night that I sometimes worry me that I am so emotional. He said he adores my emotionality and maintained that traversing the emotional flow with me is always an interesting journey. H e added that my emotions feed my passion and my passions keep the creativity burning bright. So, I thought, maybe that it a good thing then? He said, yes of course it is!

Gemini and Sagittarius are polar opposites. It is fun being caught in a polar opposite space. However, everyone deals with the intensity of the full moon differently or shall I say, uniquely. Therefore, may I suggest that we refrain from judging others on a moral basis? Moral self righteousness stands in the way of creating success and money.

Polar bears sounds much more fun, doesn’t it?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

End the mental melt-downs!

I let go of all thoughts of hurry and control. I allow the perfect divine plan for my life to unfold in its perfect way. I accept that my life is a part of something much greater, and I trust the divine timing and direction.

The Full Moon in Gemini is the perfect time to cease the self flagellation. Yeah, stop beating yourself up – okay? Negative self talk and the disempowering chatter like: should; would; and could just have to go! Enough is enough! More importantly, the constant fear based mind-set and the mental melt-downs are stopped. The Full Moon is at 6:30pm tonight. So it gives us all day to work on our new creed.

Gemini is such a curious and quick thinking sign. The Mercury-ruled champion is fast thinking – fast talking and can take no prisoners with a snatch and grab approach to details and concepts.

Gemini is creative and innovative and is quick sliver in processing all sorts of stimuli. Ideas are absorbed and ferried across synapses at lightning speed. We all have Gemini in our charts – and where Hermes visits it is likely to an active and spontaneous playing field. For me, my Moon and Jupiter are in Gemini so emotionally and socially I rely on communication to ease the troublesome insecurities of my emotions. With my intense and passionate Scorpio Sun it is like having a pixie dive into a volcano. Quite often the escapade is a trouble free flight but then when the lava is on the boil – the Pixie can turn to dust in an instant.

I desire effective communication, sharing ideas, studying and travelling to foreign destinations. I am always interested in what is happening internationally and I have studied a diverse range of philosophies and doctrines throughout my life. Sure I am curious but the curiosity is never quite sated. It is my personal yoke that I carry quite happily.

Furthermore, with Jupiter sitting so close to my Moon the dire need for all of this communication and education is amplified. Of course to top it all of nicely these alignments take place in my ninth house of study and philosophy.

My Mercury however is in Scorpio so there is a lot going on in the mind but the commitment to speak is discerning. Quite often I don’t say anything (even though the thoughts, words and visions are flooding through at warp speed) unless I have something of value to contribute. This can be frustrating for my colleagues in meetings. I know that there have been times when they have wanted me to comment or offer a suggestion but I give them the blank look. I am working on this of course so now I manage the expected responses at appropriate times.

I guess this trait can be annoying to deal with at times. It is difficult for me also as I feel that I have to wear a mask of indifference while I can consider the content of the messages. In the meantime, my mind is traipsing elsewhere far off places that are much more interesting than where I am at that moment. As I said, it is a work in progress.

The Universe conspires to fulfil all of my intentions. When all of the elements and forces of the universe conspire to fulfil my intentions, instant manifestation becomes possible.

So Be It!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Get all the facts

I let go of all thoughts of hurry and control. I allow the perfect divine plan for my life to unfold in its perfect way. I accept that my life is part of something much greater, and I trust timing and direction.

The Moon is in Gemini and she links quite nicely to Mercury in Sagittarius. They are compatible elements. Gemini is airy and Sagittarius is the fire. Ideas, concepts and suggestions are easily discussed and negotiations can be beneficial for all parties concerned.

My subconscious reveals a story of acceptance, reflection/perception and innovation. Where to from here is the common thread. I know I planted those seeds somewhere but what they look like and what will the crop yield. Only time will tell – I should imagine.

We are on the eve of the full moon in Gemini. This phase is to resolve or conclude any outstanding issues or ineffective behaviours. It is a time of endings. It is okay to ask for help. Because as we close one door we can get our fingers caught. So get all the facts before slamming the door shut.

In that view, I approach life with full awareness and an open heart. When I am attentive and open to life, I allow for new understandings in every moment.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Soul elixir

I acknowledge that everything that happens to me or my loved ones is to help us grow. There is nothing that happens that I am not strong enough to handle. I know this to be true for my loved ones also.

An insightful number seven day is the perfect day to reach into the tiny crevices of our soul and remove any resentment or anger that may still exist. Allow the energy of the seven to look inside and question, “is this really working for me? If the answer is no then prepare to excise the abscess. Drain the wound of negativity and let the healing begin.

You know those words, slights, objects of disrespect that linger after an encounter? Well they erode our self esteem and rob us of future happiness. Our job is to wear Teflon coating so that none of them stick. It’s the only way – really!

The Taurean moon is calm, practical and grounded in reality. If you’ve done you best then that is good enough – isn’t it? Let the seeds of inspiration take root in a fresh and fertile playing field. I am sure that you’ve endured an enough manure to make a fine crop blossom in the meadow.

The Star collaborates with the heavens to instigate the lightness of heart and facilitate a new era. The Sun gives life surging energy to the new plantation. The Wheel of Fortune spins in a new direction – by Jove – prepare for a period of good fortune – everyone deserves abundance now and again.

I remain attentive about life. When I am attentive about life, I can act on every opportunity.

Mercury and Chiron hold hands and in this demonstration of collaboration we benefit with the knowledge that all is good and we are doing fine.

Let the soul elixir flood into your life and heal the wounds of the past then tip the urn out into humanity.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Success in all its glory!

Everyday I expand my awareness of life and self. Everyday great opportunities for spiritual and material riches come to me. Everyday greater love is mine

The moon moves into pragmatic Taurus today. It’s a number six day – prime time to commit and take responsibility for your actions. It’s also a much more civilised day after the fire storm of yesterday.

Yesterday I watched my husband and son take down a carport in the searing heat. I was melting inside the house trying to keep my two grandsons entertained. The heat was horrendous and my mother’s house was like an oven. And so it was a very uncomfortable day for everyone.

After the hot and exhausting work we went to Roger’s daughter’s 40th birthday celebration. It was a mild night and we felt a slight reprieve. This morning we are both a little sluggish. Unfortunately, we are off to another family gathering before driving back to ACT this afternoon.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m only groaning because my body is weary and I am sure that my gorgeous husband must be exhausted.

The party went well. It was a lovely night. I feel that everyone had a good time. I met some lovely people = extended family and friends and relatives of my step-daughter. I got up and danced and thoroughly enjoyed the night. It was fun.

I guess I’ve never been a party person. I prefer intimate gatherings where people meet, talk get to know one another decided whether they want to keep the connection alive or not. Even so it seems that parties or family gatherings are a great way to catch up with a mass of people at once.

The Sun shines brightly in my reading this morning. Apollo offers music and the banquet of life.

The Hierophant errs on the side of caution. His wise soul nourishes our damaged hearts. Love and gentles beam from his temple of healing. As we stand in his direction we, to can be gratified by the enormity of his healing potential.

Judgements sound the alarm bell. It’s time to release, renew and be reborn. Shed the old and unwanted – why are you holding on to such crap, anyway?

One more card – a ring in – a gentle kiss on a summer breeze – Temperance reminds me of the philosopher within. We carry our hearts on our sleeves and when they are damaged we wonder why. It’s a lovely day and there is no time to dwell just rise above the mire and keep hearts strong.

In our search for success and money we often loose sight of happiness. Pure, poignant and purposeful happiness is the ultimate benchmark of success. Don’t you think?

True success is progressive expansion of happiness. It is the ability to express spontaneous joy!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Live for tomorrow today!

I now allow the past to be the past. I accept credit for many things I have achieved, knowingly and unknowingly. I accept the wisdom of the lessons I have learned. I did the best I could at the time, and understand that this is true for everyone else.

The Moon in Pisces continues to bring a gentleness and romantic vibe to the air. The Sag Sun is forever foraging ahead – the pioneer and the archer in pursuit of truth and freedom.

It’s a number three day – a time when the potential is rife for communication and short journeys.

The Tower commands – expect the unexpected. Lightning bolts to the foundation of your existence are being challenges – change is on the horizon.

The Hierophant is Chiron – the wounded part of us – tainted by the slights of others he hides in his cave – pulling at the poison arrow and allowing the wound to heal with love and gentleness.

Temperance is the rational and philosophical aspect of our consciousness – rise above adversity with eyes focussed on the future and a knowing shrug. You may crush me in the short term but that won’t destroy my spirit. I’m here for the long term and this moment in time represents a tiny pebble in my shoe.

I stand strong in my personal power. When the upsurgeance from within becomes the blustering wind there is nothing beyond my reach.

I am a Goddess labouring over the new. Gaia is my mother and I bring the babe into the world with one more push. Life seems unfair at times. Perhaps a blemished point of view - the now is what we make it – perspective shift and change with the tides of our discontent.

The optimist and the pessimist struggle over a glass half full (half empty too). The sky is grey and cloudy but I can only see the rainbow in the distance. Misery breeds contempt and discontent in equal portions apathy is the undesired outcome. And apathy breeds resentment. Is that anyway to live? If it doesn’t fit move on after all everyone is entitled to happiness.

The work day beckons and I am inclined to escape into my magical realm while skipping along the yellow brick road with my friends. Part of being an adult is to face the truth and don’t regret one step your make in pursuit of a positive tomorrow. Live for today.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers