Julia's Journal October 2009 Archives Book1

Day 41 – final day of detox – drama queens rule!

It is believed that Saturn and Venus make weird bedfellows however here they are snuggling up today. Edmund Spencer suggests, “And all for love, and nothing for reward.” Essentially, I guess this means that we are all in for love for some benefit. So, what is your reward? Mine is the feeling of being loved and respected – such a tall order?

Temperance floats into the morning spread elegant and serene. She is posed above the chaos of the emotional realm below. Her gift or the offering is balance and a philosophical mind. The Magician facilitates his magic in duplicity effortlessly transiting between realms. The Lovers are underpinning the theme for today – locked in a balanced and mindful state of respect and communication. While Earth Mother, Gaia pushes past the pain and delivers a new phase.

It is the final day of my detox. The above reading suggests that it is time to step away from the confines of a restrictive diet and seek a period of balance and harmony. The influence of Venus and a Leo moon creates a galactic bridge between wishes and creative intent where love is the wind beneath my wings. Basically, do it for the love of self, Julia!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 41 – II days to go – Leo Gold

“Love is all we have; the only way that each can help each other.” Euripides

The Moon moves into the creative, bold and golden sign of Leo today. Leo loves to perform and dance. Mars and Saturn offer a compatible embrace which is a nice start to the working week – don’t you think?

The detox is down to the final two days and I’ve been reflecting on the changes and benefits. I seem to be quite aware of the improvement to my skin, hair and colour of my eyes – but what else?

Death is the first card of the morning spread heralding the final chapter of my current phase. I would assume that this card is the acknowledgment of the end of the detox. Is it an ending? Or is it the beginning?

The number six day suggests a new order is on offer and a commitment to a healthier lifestyle. One thing I’ve learned about myself during these 41 days of the program is that I am not perfect and that I love food. I feel that my DNA is closely linked to a lineage of hedonists. I am a self-confessed food lover. Of course it is not to say that the quality and richness of food is not important. Taste is everything – well at least it is a close second to nutritious.

The next card is Justice – contracts, agreements and negotiation is on the agenda for the day. Well, I am starting in a new section this morning and this event has re-motivated my working life. I heading off in a new direction for a while and this should be a positive influence for my self-esteem. I’ve packed my boxes and now a new horizon beckons – hauntingly beautiful and highly seductive. Keep your fingers crossed.

The final card is the Chariot. This fast moving card pulls me in two directions however I am in control of the reins. I will keep you posted on that one.

Ciao for now – and have a great day!

Good luck is with me – good luck happens when an opportunity presents itself and I meet it with preparedness.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 40 III days to go – A train to happiness

“My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece.” Claude Monet

The Moon is in her natal sign of cancer and therefore lovely cosy feeling floats through the day. It is a day five which portends a positive vibe for changes.

During my weeding and feeding phase in the garden yesterday I reflected on how the weeds in our lives are embedded in our psyche and destroy the beauty of our garden/life. Not only are the weeds unsightly but they are tough little buggers. Weeds or negative thoughts and behaviours are the most resilient intruders into our glorious garden/life. Digging them out and tossing them into the garbage is the most positive action we can undertake for our garden/self esteem – don’t you think?

Yesterday was back breaking and hard work – although as I pulled back the blinds this morning to see the most brilliant masterpiece I felt that it was all worth it.

Its day 40 and there are three days to go on the detox. Yesterday I remained on the program – diligent and focused. Last night we went out to dinner to celebrate Moon Hawk’s birthday and there were slight deviations and a complete flip flop to finish. Never mind today looks much friendlier and the slate is clear for a fresh start; anyhow, happy birthday Moon Hawk – my favourite Libran Goddess.

The Moon is illustrious in her shimmering glory –loyalty and creativity emanate from her lunar glow. Athena calm and resolute offers respite in her determination to bring fairness and balance to my early morning reading. The great benefactor, Jupiter rolls in with the wheel of fortune – life is plentiful and there is no time to waste on second guessing yourself or pondering the lack lustre fear of failure – give it your best – time is a wasting and you’ve got a long way to go.

This morning’s spread of the major arcana reveals the unconscious script of my drive and determination for a better tomorrow. Each one of us has a story board floating around inside our heads and we are merely actors on the stage of life. I know that this is not an innovative concept however, over the past few months these words have been the subtext of my existence. Our future happiness is in our hands and minds and no one can dictate our destination. Sure they can derail our enthusiasm with their negative perception but they can’t take the controls – only if we allow them too – toot - toot – all aboard the train to happiness – have a great day.

I have faith in my ability to manifest my desires.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 39 – IV days to go - How does your garden grow?

The Moon enters Cancer and the Sun in Libra trine Jupiter portends for a lovely homey day. Home-based projects and nurturing yourself and significant relationships seems to be on the menu (very Cancerian term). For me, it is a garden day – weeding, tidying up the garden. We are off to shop (food) and then out to dinner tonight – luvely!

It is four days to go on my detox and I had a serious fall off the program yesterday. I had coffee and a slice of cake – then to follow it up with a couple of glasses of wine after work. Why? I don’t know – thoughtless, evil, wicked –not sure– perhaps human? I am disappointed in myself. I could make lots of excuses but prefer not to instead I would rather own it and move on.

I choose to forgive myself for all of frailties and misdemeanour. I can’t wallow in the guilt for too long as it will perpetuate the cycle of abuse on me. Instead, I’ll own it and pick up my self esteem and move on. And today is a great day for doing just that.

The plan remains the same and a count down to the end of the six week program. Today is it four days to go. It is also a number four day on the numerology cycle. Which means, a good day to lay foundations for the future or build a strong base under the plans we are making.

The Star offers a glow of optimism in an otherwise dull and drab existence. Athena creates the governance on a new regime. The Magician sprinkles fairy dust on our hopes and dream in an effort to overcome the frailties of being human.

Kick your guilt to the bottom of the bed – so how does your garden grow?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 38 – IV days to go! Fantastic Friday

Look I know that it has been an extremely short week for me however, I have found it to be fast and furious. Today is Friday and the weekend is in sight and I am over the moon.

Yesterday was tough. I had to admit a huge oversight at work. It’s not easy admitting that we are human and are prone to make mistakes. I took the wrap and shouldered the responsibility for a systemic error.

After the admission I felt massively distressed (initially) and then was supported by my colleagues. I basked in the team spirit and was nurtured by their support. In the end I felt proud to admit my error – thank you team.

The Moon shines her beaming light into my spread this morning. She represents loyalty, creativity and encourages me to change with the tide.

Judgement seems ever present at the moment – the lesson of letting go is prominent and strong.

The Emperor demands truth and justice and rules from a lofty vantage. I beg for forgiveness and the price of being human is just too painful to express.

It is a new day and we are all in the influence of the Gemini Moon. This is an airy embrace supported by the Libran Sun. Truth and justice envelop us as the common theme to live by. We are all searching for balance in an chaotic world.

Modernity creates expectations we all fall into the credo of being everything to everyone and eventually there is little time for us. In the quietness of a sacred moment consider you and the dreams you hold – have a fantastic Friday and a weekend to behold!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 37 – V days to go – cold snap

The Moon moves into Gemini and the communication will begin to flow. It is five days to go on the detox and I am almost counting the minutes.

To be honest I guess a lot of the attitude shift has a great deal to do with the weather. It has turned bitterly cold and the wind is roaring at my window. This is not the inspiration I need to crunch on celery sticks or munch lettuce leaves. I would rather be slopping down a hearty casserole and following up with a steamy date pudding. But alas, no there is no such food in sight. I am so aligned with my environment at the moment – I want to rug up and fill up with hot saucy food.

Yesterday was the return to work after our little retreat in Nelson Bay. I must admit that I felt flat for most of the day. It wasn’t anything in my external world but rather the internal environment was jaded and very cloudy. It was like walking alone in the black forest without a map and not caring if I had a map or not.

Today is a new day and there are agreements and contracts on offer with the 11/2 vibe. Negotiation is on the agenda and we are all set to sign on the dotted line.

The Major Arcana journey reveals a sunny start to the day. Apollo, the Sun God offers his golden disposition to pulse into my morning reading. Judgement hails, “it’s time to move on and shed the past – celebrate the now and give thanks for the lessons learned. The Star in all her glory is triumphant and brilliant – it is the time to shine as brightly as the stars in the heavens’.

I guess one important aspect from my “hang over” from yesterday is to keep looking for a silver lining. Don’t take life too seriously and if someone shares a perspective with you then thank them for sharing or as one of my inspirational Golden Friends has suggested, “noted with thanks” works well too!

There is a glimmer of golden syrup beaming into my morning – shine on Apollo!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 36 – VI days to go – back to work

It’s back to work today. The mini holiday is over and the morning rituals are full throttle. I have to get ready for work and do the best that I can in my day life – it is part of my personal credo.

The Hanged Man suggest going with the flow – take me back to crystal blue pools and golden sands of the New South Wales north coast. The High Priestess requests devotion and grace in her re-entry into the world. The Hermit warns of the minefield ahead – take your time and don’t rush.

It’s a 10/1 day on the numerological cycle – something will end and a new door will open.

The detox is down to the final six days of the program. Today it is the beginning of the brain detox and rejuvenation.

The trip home was long and exhausting but the memory of the journey was worth every kilometre. The rest and relaxation was the reward of course. I feel calm and serene and ready to return to work. What delightful experiences lay before me today – bring them on!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 35 – VII days to go – back home

This morning our bags are packed and the departure time is set. We are heading back to ACT (after taking my Mum home to Sydney). It’s been a fantastic healing weekend with lots of wonderful treats and many blessings; the most rewarding aspect being, reconnecting with my loving tribe – the family.

It has rained constantly over the past few days but this has not dampened our spirit or enthusiasm. The prize of R&R has been grabbed and unwrapped and now we return home feeling rested and content. It’s not as though we’ve spent a fortune on fine dining or expensive distractions it’s just the moments of joy and laughter have filled our souls with golden memories.

Tomorrow is back to work. I guess that is not an inspiring thought although, I’ve been able to regather my strength and re-calibrate the balance I need to feel confident and calm.

It’s a number nine day of empowerment and resolution. Life comes full circle in the power of numbers. The ebb and flow of the cycle takes us from beginning to end and back again.

Today is the beginning of the final week of my detox. And I am glad. I’ve finished the goop and now on to the last lot of vitamins and minerals. In honour of this phase I will begin the brain detox to clear the intellectual highways and by-ways for strong communication thorough fares. Mercury is direct too so that should help with the confusion at the round-a-bout. I guess it’s time to fill in the pot holes and clear the debris.

There is a ray of sunshine to herald our departure from Nelson Bay. It is a long drive but relaxing none-the-less. I’ll be dreaming and rolling along with the kilometres feasting on the sights, smells and musical storyboard of the journey.

The Devil stalks my reading with his oppressive snare – he seduces me with his offer, “step into the world of fear and you will be mine forever”. Judgement heralds the sublime of shedding the unwanted layers of protection – it is time to lift your heart to the songs of the Angels. The High Priestess is calm and resolute as she leans toward me and whispers, “you’ve been through the worst of it, child now enjoy the best of times”.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

34 Days – VIII days to go – 8 days a week!

Oh! I need your love your babe, guess you know it’s true. Hope you need my love babe, just like I need you!

Yes, it is 8 days to go and I am raging! I’m down to my last couple of scoops in my latest detox goop and I am feeling light as a feather and finer than a spider’s web. My skin, hair and vitality are shinning and I can feel the benefits of health surging through my body. I’m so proud of myself and this achievement is worth celebrating. In 8 days I will sail into victory harbour and claim my prize – good health.

As I said earlier in the weekend I am in Nelson Bay with family on a short holiday. They have been phenomenal – so supportive and complimentary. They have appreciated the benefits of a healthier person in their midst (I hope so anyway). They are terrific in this current phase. I thank them for their support, love and devotion.

This mini holiday has enabled me to re-gather my strength, courage and rejuvenate my spirit (priceless). Our careers are very important to us – sometimes I think that my burning desire to reach the top of the mountain blurs the vision I have for my future. Retreats such as this one are essential for me as I continually push myself beyond my own limits. I strive so hard for goods and seek contentment in accomplishment. Taking time to enjoy simple pleasures and resting my mind, body and spirit remind me of the eloquence of rejuvenation.

It’s a number eight day and this is a day of accomplishment – it’s also a day of balance and that is my goal. I’m seeking balance between work and rest – taking it easy on my final day in Nelson Bay (for this trip). Tomorrow we journey back to Canberra via Sydney.

In the major arcana spread, the Hierophant reiterates the wise words of moderation and rejuvenation. The gnashing of teeth has made way for a loving smile. I feel replete in life and its beauty.

The Emperor still present in my early morning spread beams empowerment and a positive attitude to the dark recesses of my struggle. Stay strong and don’t relinquish your sense of self its okay to find solace in a shady nook but don’t dawdle – life is too short for missing your tour of truth.

Athene the Goddess of Justice is the truth and nothing but the truth. Her sword slices away the irrelevant and insignificant superfluous dross and reveals the bare beauty of truth and loyalty – if you don’t stand with me you are against me – I choose not to acknowledge you in my peripheral vision.

I feel sated by my surroundings this weekend has taken me from a distressed state of frustration and agitation to a peaceful entry into bliss. The insignificant hurdles have rotated to give way signs and signals of proceed with your head held high – it’s time to enjoy your calm passage into enlightenment and joy!

Oh! I need your love babe….

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 33- IX days to go – shed the crap

Traditionally the full moon is the time to conclude or resolve issues in your life. Conversely, Aries like to begin projects and situation. So this fullmoon can be somewhat confusion.

The moon is full in the sign of Aries – therefore it is all abou me as opposed to to sun of Libra – us/we. Uranus offers a little spice into the mix and his could potentially be a time of rebellion.

The detox journey is down to single digits – there is a nine days to go and I am a wee bit excited about that. I’ve had a great deal of consideration and respect on this mini retreat from y family which has been wonderful. There has been no taunting or questioning just pure respect and acceptance. I am grateful for that.

I suppose I’ve been rather fortunate with my family and their acceptance of my unique ways. They’ve not been too surprised when I’ve broken away from the family traditions and explored different beliefs and cultures or even when I’ve demonstrated obsessive rituals and altruistic behaviours. They have shrugged and said, this is Julia and we accept her for who she is. The only time I find the road confronting our encounter road blocks to my ideals I usally in the orkplace. Its very lucky then that I only have to work with them.

Last night over dinner we had a discussion about some of the past influences that have moulded or shaped our lives. Most of the scenarios were negative, life changing or even life threatening. Our self esteem had been bruised and challenged and our sense of self obliterate however, one common thread entwined our stories and that was the thread of resilience and determination. Everyone at the table shared their stories and realized that from these negative or challenging circumstances we have taken up the torch (our inner light) and lead the march to rescue our self esteem. Perhaps this is the message f this full moon. If you feel as if you are in a situation which is not feling right or comfortable or if something has not evolved for you then pack your bags and move on. Or if that is not n option considering flipping your perception and seeing the matter on a different light. Count your blessings and see the lessons for what thy are but don’t wallow in the more for too long – the Aries moon will not allow it! Use the force of this Aries moon to champion your cause – because you deserve it!

Today I am sharing my Aries full moon with my gorgeous neice, an Aries Goddess – so beautiful and courageous. She is wise and clever adaptable and funny. I have a great deal of respect for her and her journey – she is a positive force in my life.

Hermit moves along the path cautiously only looking up to decipher the messages of relase and relinquish from the Angelic realm. The ultimate Arian, Zeus dictates terms demanding we shed the crap and move on – charge!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 32 – X days to go – a mini holiday

Yesterday we arrived in Nelson Bay. We were exhausted and after unpacking the car collapsed in a heap. My brother made us teas and coffees and we caught up with quick tales of the trip up and then had lunch. It was great to be here – near the ocean and away from work. Don’t get me wrong – work is good for many reasons but mini holidays are much better.

It’s ten days to go on my detox and these few days will be a test as we are away from home and the classic routines. Plus, I like to push the boundaries of my eating regime and spill over into lush and naughty faire – don’t you? Well, not time friends and family!

Temperance shines brightly into my spread. She is a guiding light and her appearance allows me to take a few moments to ease into a sigh of relief. She represents hope beyond comparison. When she appears the dark curtain begins to recede into secret caverns and dark places where my obsessions, passions and imaginations lurk where the purest forms of truth and honesty exist. Ebbing toward the precipice fear and dread pulse throughout my body as we move forward out of our zone of comfort – no parachute or life jacket just the unknowable – jump for your life!

The High Priestess confirms the re-entry back into the real world. She has been to hell and back and now she sits poised and elegant in her golden vestibule reading the legend of her truth and documentary evidence that she has survived the tour of Hades and lived to tell the tale.

The world aspires to the goodness of the banquet of life – Venus stands alone and vulnerable waiting for the richness of the Universe to fall from the vine. Her lofty presence in the golden vine of abundance is protected by the cornerstones of wisdom, truth, loyalty and honesty.

This mini holiday has a nurturing theme. It’s great to rise a little later and spend some precious moments along; to write and create magical alliances between my thoughts, words and actions. These are the benefits of a holiday you don’t think – time is not the guardian of your truth but rather a gateway to places unknown and explored territories within your imagination.

I stand alone at the precipice of the unknown and am ready to take flight. Come and join me on my mini holiday its time to relax, rejuvenated and rejoice.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 31 – XI days to go – Growl

You know how I suggested yesterday that laughing off situations would be a good strategy – should have taken my own advice.

For some reason I got myself into an awful state – I got frustrate while waiting forty five minutes at one stop – got annoyed about being left out “again!” and then frustrated by the fact that people continually underestimate me. Why do I bother? Why do I care? I don’t know – what I do know is that I am even more annoyed abut allowing myself the wasted energy in reacting to these situations. Today will be different – I promise.

It’s a number five day – a day of changes – it is a positive new month and Mercury is bounding forward. Communication is clear, check; understood, check and what is even more refreshing there doesn’t seem to be any cosmic clashes to be seen.

It’s eleven days to go on the detox program. I’ve been detoxing the liver this week and it has been rather uncomfortable, I must say. I’ve felt pretty lousy really – I’ve had a headache and nausea for most of the week. While I understand it is part of the process I’ve felt rather uncomfortable. The liver is such a major organ and it has been absorbing so many unhealthy habits over my life time. Habits like sugar, carbohydrates and did I mention, sugar. I am convinced that once this part of the program is accomplished then I will have a nice healthy general for my body. He will be able to efficiently direct the nutrients to the correct portal.

The Empress and the Emperor hold hands in agreement as they stroll through my morning spread. The Hanged man moans from the tree of life – go slow and relax, Girl – the fool assures me that a new month will bring many new surprises and visions to fruition. Just keep the faith and travel light – you be alright!

I am tempted to encourage you to take it slow – what do you think about that? Okay let’s shuffle along together it’s a long and winding road – turn that growl into a victory roar!

Peace and love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Day 30 – XII days to go – Laugh it off, Ha ha!

Mercury and Mars are locked in a lover’s embrace today so an intense exchange is possible. This is not a bad thing considering Mercury has been retrograde for most of September. Mixed messages and crossed words have been flooding our communication channels – now it is time to set the record straight – (if that’s what you want). Or, you can laugh it off – well that is my plan – I feel the upside of down has a quirkier and ravenous appeal rather than locking horns with the Devil’s Advocate. Speaking of the Devil what major arcana messages are emerging from my unconscious today?

Justice is the first scene from my story. The stage is set for balance and determination in the pursuit of my goals; a contract or an ending perhaps? It’s a number four day so laying the foundations for the future. The World is my oyster or so Venus suggests as she points to the heavens for inspiration and guidance. Judgment augurs letting go and or ending what is no longer working for us – it’s time to move on – carve out a new path.

It’s twelve days to go and I am feeling extremely positive. It’s almost the home stretch and I feel that I am past the worst of it. I’ve often wondered what lies beyond the detox – is there another world out there and what does it look like. One conclusion that rings loud and clear is that I will never go back to my fat, unhealthy former self so, this is my life now. This is the new frontier of wellbeing, respect for my body and standing alone in reverence for a long healthy future.

At times over the past few weeks I’ve felt isolated and not a part of the herd. I’ve felt left out – excluded. And to a certain extend that has been true – but then objectively speaking I know in my own heart that it has been my choice. When you step away from the group or when you choose to do something completely different you are standing alone. This act takes courage and a strong will. I guess these are two of the ancillary pay off’s I spoke about earlier in the commitment creed. Back then I felt that there would other benefits to the detox – now I realize just how determined and strong willed I am.

Enjoy your day in everything you do and say and if it gets too much – laugh it off!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers